I’m a drunk.
So I lost my phone last night.
Also: my dignity.
Made out with Dixie Normous a little. Pushed him away and walked to a different part of the bar when he got aggressive. Then he texted me five or six times (some nasty shit, too) and I didn’t want to deal with it so I turned my phone off.
That’s the last thing I remember from last night.
I woke up on my friends’ couch this morning, head pounding, stomach swirling, dizzy as fuck…
And phone-less.
So I spent most of my day looking for it, and uncovering more and more of the night before. The only really notable story is when I went back to the bar a little bit ago, and asked if anyone turned in a phone. No one did. I looked around the bar, nope. I looked on the couches in the private rooms, no luck. Then I went to the back bar, because that’s the one I remember, and wouldn’t luck have it! The bartender who served me last night was working there today! He had a story to tell.
Apparently, they were closing down the bar last night, and I was still there.
Not just there, but barely standing. In fact, when that bartender came out of the bar, locking the doors behind him, I was sitting on the curb. They had called me a cab, but the driver turned me away and drove off. The bartender (apparently) said “Honey, give me your phone, let’s call a friend of yours.” But at that point, my phone was already gone. Thankfully (and lord knows how he knew to) my friend picked me up and whisked me back the couch I woke up on.
So there we are.
No phone.
No dignity.
No class.
Few memories.
Not to mention that not having a phone means my weekend plans with icecreamsandcake are not going to happen. I can’t exactly drive across three states without a GPS or, even, the destination addresses. I got lost driving home from work today. No joke.
And now I’m going to watch Drag Race and stress-cry before shopping for cheap unlocked phones on Amazon, also probably while stress-crying.
I need to drink less.
